Fear Ye Not

What are you afraid of? I think we all have fears, one of my greatest fears has always had to do with how other people perceive me. Was I good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, tough enough? Because I had these fears I was easily intimidated by others. If somebody with a big bold personality would get in my face and challenge me I usually backed down. I hated confrontation (I still struggle with it) and I would question if I was guilty, even if I knew I wasn't. In my reading of the Old Testament this week and after reading another student's post about it I realized that this was a way that Satan has had control over me in my life. I was reading Isaiah 51:7 and it says:

 7 ¶Hearken unto me, ye that know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law;  fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings.

 8 For the moth shall eat them up like a garment, and the worm shall eat them like wool: but my righteousness shall be for ever, and my salvation from generation to generation.

This was talking to me, when I let others intimidate me, when I am afraid, I am not trusting in the Lord. He will protect me, he will always be there for me I just need to get rid of my fear and have faith in him. I am being like Laman and Lemual from the Book of Mormon when I am letting other's control me by being afraid of them.

Laman and Lemual were on an errand for the Lord. It was an extremely important task that would affect their children for generations if they didn't accomplish it.  They tried, but when they faced resistance they were ready to give up. There have been many times as a mother when I have faced resistance I have been ready to give up. I have called my husband and said "I am done". Even after seeing an angel of the Lord Laman and Lemual complained that they couldn't accomplish their task. They were afraid and army of fifty men might be sent after them.  Laman and Lemual had a younger brother with them on this journey. He wasn't ready to give up. He knew what the scriptures taught and he had faith that the Lord would help them accomplish their goal. He reminded his older brothers that the Lord is mightier than all the earth, so he is mightier than fifty of even tens of thousands of men. He then proceeded to accomplish what the Lord had asked him to do. I will ask the Lord to give me strength to face my trials and confrontations and I know that as I show faith in him and his power, I will be strengthened to face the trials in my life.

Achieving the Impossible

Have you ever been faced with a task that seemed impossible? You just couldn't see any way to accomplish it? I am going to college again as a mom of 4 children and it seems that way. I never really thought I was smart enough to graduate from college. I wasn't a great student in high school and it was hard, college seemed impossible. It is going to take me longer that the typical 4 years to graduate, I am in my 2nd year back and I will still be a sophomore this time next year too. I am taking another Old Testament class this semester. This time it is the 2nd half of the book of scripture. This week we read from Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther. They were all faced with tasks that seemed completely impossible, yet they were the will of The Lord so they were able to accomplish them.

The first impossible task was the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem. The Jews were in bondage to the Persians; I am sure none of them thought they were going to be able to go back to Jerusalem. I am sure some didn’t think about it, but I am sure others were praying that they would be able to go back. It is so amazing that Cyrus read a prophesy about himself and that inspired him to command the Jews to go back and build the Temple. It wasn’t an easy task for them, they faced opposition along the way, but they were able to accomplish the Lord’s will.

I don’t think I had ever read the book of Nehemiah before this. He was mourning for his people who were struggling undefended in Jerusalem. Nehemiah was a friend of the king (his cup bearer) and the king sent him to go help. Nehemiah went to Jerusalem and build the wall around the Temple to protect the people. It had seemed an impossible task, but he did it because it was the Lord’s will.  When he was laughed at and scorned he replied "The God of heaven, he will prosper us; therefore we his servants will arise and build." When he was asked to take a break (only to cause problems in the building of the wall) he replied "why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?" He was committed to accomplishing his task, and he completed it in 52 days. It required hard work and a steady commitment, but with the Lord's help he was able to complete his goal.

The final impossible task I would like to discuss is Queen Esther. Not many women are mentioned in the scriptures, but I love to learn from the lives of the righteous women in the scriptures. In the book of Esther all of the Jews were going to be killed by the king. It was a conspiracy by his servant Haman to kill them, but the king didn’t even know it was The Jews who were going to be killed. Because Esther's uncle, Mordecai had been inspired to present his niece to the king as a possible wife, she was able to do what seemed impossible and save the lives of all of the Jews. She had been blessed with great beauty and that attracted the king to her, but she was also blessed with wisdom and bravery. She came up with a plan to talk to him. She went in unto the king when she could have been killed just for approaching him. She knew she was not alone, she asked that all the Jews fast and pray for her so that she could accomplish her task. The Lord was with her and blessed her and her people and saved them from death.

The tasks that I face in my life are not as daunting as the tasks that I read about this week. I know that if I work hard like Nehemiah and the builders of the temple that the Lord will too help me accomplish any task I set out to do. I will keep taking classes and I will eventually achieve my goal of a bachelors degree. In setting out to accomplish this goal I have learned I am smarter than I thought I was, and accomplishing any goal is just putting one step in front of the other. If a step is too high, I will ask the Lord for help and he will help me climb.

We all play an important part

I am taking an old testament class this semester. This week I read the story of Isaac finding his wife, Rebekah. Isaac didn't actually choose his wife himself, Rebekah was chosen for him by a servant. Also, Isaac didn't send the servant himself, his father Abraham sent the servant to find a wife for Isaac. This was a very trusted servant, he was the "eldest servant of his (Abraham's) house, that ruled over all that he had..." Even though this servant was doing something so important, we are never told his name. Abraham asked the servant to put his hand under his thigh and promise that he would do this thing. This same type of promise was used later by Jacob to his son Joseph when it was time for Jacob to die. We were told that Abraham had become a very wealthy man, so the fact that he ruled over all Abraham had meant that he had great responsibilities. I would say that finding a spouse for your master's son, would be the greatest responsibility. When I think about the relationship that must have existed between these two men I envision, trust, mutual respect and friendship. I also envision them having the same belief system, and because of this, the servant must have known the importance of families and choosing a righteous bride for Isaac.

The servant was sent on his way with 10 camels to go find this bride. Outside the city, they came to a well and the servant had the camels kneel down and wait. I am sure that the servant did quite a bit of pondering while he was traveling, on how he was going to find this bride for Isaac. When he arrived at the well he had a plan and presented it to the God of Abraham. He asked god to send him good speed, which sounds like he is asking for success and he also asked God to show kindness unto Abraham. Then he asked the Lord to approve his plan, which was when a girl came down to draw water for her family he would ask her to draw water for him also. If the girl also offered to draw water for his camels, then she would be the correct girl for Isaac to marry. As soon as he finished praying, Rebekah came to the well and the thing he had just prayed for happened. After they were done drinking, he asked Rebekah about her family and he asked if there was room in their house for him and his camels. Next, the servant bowed down and worshiped the Lord. When the servant was taken to meet Rebekah's family, he refused food until he was able to tell his story.

This servant isn't ever mentioned in the scriptures again after this story, but I feel like we can learn from him. He wasn't the main player in the story of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and some would argue he wasn't great, but he did what was required of him, and he did it faithfully and to the best of his ability. He played an important part and did his best. He used the intelligence that God had given him, he came up with a plan and presented it to the Lord. Because this was something that God wanted, God made it happen. I hope I can follow the example of this servant of Abraham and always do the best with what I have been given and go to the Lord to always ask for his approval and help and to finally thank him for all he has given to me.

We all play an important part

I am taking an old testament class this semester. This week I read the story of Isaac finding his wife, Rebekah. Isaac didn't actually choose his wife himself, Rebekah was chosen for him by a servant. Also, Isaac didn't send the servant himself, his father Abraham sent the servant to find a wife for Isaac. This was a very trusted servant, he was the "eldest servant of his (Abraham's) house, that ruled over all that he had..." Even though this servant was doing something so important, we are never told his name. Abraham asked the servant to put his hand under his thigh and promise that he would do this thing. This same type of promise was used later by Jacob to his son Joseph when it was time for Jacob to die. We were told that Abraham had become a very wealthy man, so the fact that he ruled over all Abraham had meant that he had great responsibilities. I would say that finding a spouse for your master's son, would be the greatest responsibility. When I think about the relationship that must have existed between these two men I envision, trust, mutual respect and friendship. I also envision them having the same belief system, and because of this, the servant must have known the importance of families and choosing a righteous bride for Isaac.

The servant was sent on his way with 10 camels to go find this bride. Outside the city, they came to a well and the servant had the camels kneel down and wait. I am sure that the servant did quite a bit of pondering while he was traveling, on how he was going to find this bride for Isaac. When he arrived at the well he had a plan and presented it to the God of Abraham. He asked god to send him good speed, which sounds like he is asking for success and he also asked God to show kindness unto Abraham. Then he asked the Lord to approve his plan, which was when a girl came down to draw water for her family he would ask her to draw water for him also. If the girl also offered to draw water for his camels, then she would be the correct girl for Isaac to marry. As soon as he finished praying, Rebekah came to the well and the thing he had just prayed for happened. After they were done drinking, he asked Rebekah about her family and he asked if there was room in their house for him and his camels. Next, the servant bowed down and worshiped the Lord. When the servant was taken to meet Rebekah's family, he refused food until he was able to tell his story.

This servant isn't ever mentioned in the scriptures again after this story, but I feel like we can learn from him. He wasn't the main player in the story of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and some would argue he wasn't great, but he did what was required of him, and he did it faithfully and to the best of his ability. He played an important part and did his best. He used the intelligence that God had given him, he came up with a plan and presented it to the Lord. Because this was something that God wanted, God made it happen. I hope I can follow the example of this servant of Abraham and always do the best with what I have been given and go to the Lord to always ask for his approval and help and to finally thank him for all he has given to me.

Samual the Lamenite

A congregation in the Mormon Church is called a ward. There are between 5-12 wards combined together to form a stake. The stake has a president who leads the stake. He has a few councilors and a high council that help him direct the work in that area. All positions in the church are volunteer, nobody get's paid, they have their own professions that they work at full time to support themselves and their families. Two weeks ago we were in stake conference. It is a meeting we have twice a year in the Mormon church. Every stake has their own stake conference that is directed and overseen by the stake president. Different members of the stake are asked to speak on various topics, assigned by the stake president. A few years ago the church started also having a regional conference every few years in place of one of these bi-annual stake conferences. These were broadcast from one central location to various buildings in the stake so nobody would have to travel further then they usually did. At our last Stake Conference, 2 weeks ago, our stake president announced that 2 weeks from that day we would be having a broadcast from Salt Lake in addition to the regular stake conference we were then having. I have been a member of the church all of my life, and it is a very organized and regulated church. This broadcast was something new; new things do not happen very often in the Mormon Church. Over the last few weeks I have heard quite a bit of speculation about why we could be having this meeting. Here are some of the statements I have heard in the last few weeks. Maybe they are going to make church two hours instead of three; Maybe it has something to do with all of the gay and lesbian stuff going on in the media and the announcements the church has made; Ooh, it's just a broadcast? I don't do those, I will just stay home.

This week in my Book of Mormon class we have been studying Helaman chapters 10-16 in the Book of Mormon. I have found it interesting to read, and imagine what it would have been like to see him up on the wall preaching repentance to all of the Nephites. Just a few years before they had been a righteous people, but they no longer were. Because the stones and arrows didn't hit him, it caused a few people to have their eyes opened and they went to Nephi to learn more about what Samual was talking about. Not only did Samual preach repentance, he prophesied about some major things that would be happening. He told them that in 5 years there would be a day and a night and a day without darkness. The sun would come up and go down, but it wouldn't get dark. He also said there would be a new star in the heavens, there would be many signs and wonders in heaven and that all people would be amazed and fall to the earth. He told them that these would be signs that Jesus Christ had been born in Jerusalem. 

He also taught them how they needed prepare for the Savior. They needed to believe in God, and repent to be forgiven through Christ. Also that we are all free to act for ourselves. The other prophesy's that he gave were about the death of the Savior. The sun would be darkened for three days, there would be thunder, lightning and earthquakes; the earth would be broken up; great storms and that mountains would become valleys and valleys mountains; highways and cities would be destroyed; and that graves would open and resurrected saints would minister to the people.

I am sure you are wondering what our regional conference tomorrow and Samual the laminate have to do with each other. As I was thinking about these two things, I thought what things do the prophet and his councilors have to say to us? Is something important happening? It could be something new and exciting, it could be the same important things that they have been telling us, that we don't always completely listen to. These are the last days, there are daily signs that these are the last days, but who knows how long the last days will last. The things that Samual the Laminate prophesied about weren't new. The prophets had been prophesying about the savior coming since the beginning of time. As humans we tend to get cynical and let the natural man come out. We think that it is some time far in the future and wonder if it will ever effect me. My prayers this week have been that I will realize that everything that the prophet says is important and that they are things that the Lord wants me to hear now. I want to always remember "but as for me an my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15)

I love to swim! I love it so much I was certified to teach swim lessons after I had my first baby. Over the years I have gone in spurts with my swimming. My ankle bothers me so much these days that I have been swimming 2-3 times a week for my cardio exercise. I love that it is January and I am swimming outside at this beautiful pool. It was closed for two weeks at Christmas time for maintenance. I didn't swim that whole time. I was swimming 2300 yards each time I went before christmas, but I have only been doing between 1650 and 2000 since I started back after the holidays. Today I decided to step it up. I swam 2500 yards. If felt great while I was doing it. Now I am just exhausted! I am only awake because my kids are still up. Zeke had to watch Akeelah and the Bee for homework so he can answer questions about it. The kids are watching it, and I am trying to stay awake. So I decided to write about my wonderful swim. Exercise is my zen time. It helps me think and work out problems. It helps me calm down when I am angry. I wish I would have understood these things when I was younger. All I could think about was the discomfort. I do feel discomfort sometimes now, but I know it won't last forever, and I will feel so much better when I am done. Now I need to get a tire pump so I can start logging some miles on my bike. I haven't been on it since we moved to CA. Friends it is time for me to go to bed! Have a great evening! Love ya

Did you get signed up? I did! It was pretty depressing getting on the scale yesterday. I haven't weighed this much for a few years, like after my last baby was born. Not that I didn't know I was gaining weight. I can't wear any of my jeans, except for the super stretchy ones. My bell has just grown. It is super uncomfortable. I have been avoiding doing my toe nails for that reason. Yesterday was a good day though. Exercise isn't ever a problem for me, I always do that. It is the eating that is usually a problem. I did it though. I kept to my calories! Every time I went to the bathroom (which was a lot) I knew that I was peeing that fat out!
This is a picture of my belly today. It is going to shrink! I am going to keep up with this program until I reach my goal weight, so you will be hearing lots from me about this. Next year I am going to Hawaii with my husband, and Jamberry is going to pay for it. I am super excited about it, and I am going to look good in my swimsuit!
The addiction I am giving up is diet coke/soda. I did this last year, and I lasted until out move to CA, and it has gotten bad again, so I am off the coke.
My 8 week goal is to follow my fly lady plan. I need to keep on top of my house! That is hard, when you would rather do other things. I did all my dishes last night. That was a start!

P.S. I know I look mad in this picture, I'm not mad, just looking down at the phone. As you can tell I am not good at taking selfies.